Heartbreak Hotel

30 April 2015

There are typically two camps when it comes to music therapy during a breakup. There are those who drown themselves in the saddest, most miserable songs available to soothe an achy breaky heart. Or there are those that bathe themselves in the upbeat “eff” him/her to the hottest hell. 

I’ve always been in the camp of the sadder the better. I throw one self indulgent pity party. The wallowing, whimpering and whining that accompanies my break-ups have lasted longer than others, but I always get over it, (clearly). But during these trying times, I believed that feeling the pain meant getting through it. Can’t pretend like it never happened? Right? Although very Shakesperian, if you have never truly lost, how can you ever truly love?

This post is dedicated to a good friend who is going through a little spell of her own + to those who might be going through one themselves. I’ve made you a mixtape with some tried and true beats to get you through it, new and old.

For further mending via reading/listening:

  • Helen Fisher’s Ted Talk, “This is Your Brain on Love.”  A scientific approach.
  • A wonderful post titled “I fall, I cry, I get back up” from Amy Chan of Just My Type. She says, “I realized, there is nothing wrong with crying, feeling sad, feeling shot down and needing time to carefully recover and get back up. There is nothing weak or wrong about being vulnerable.”
  • And the best for last, a podcast and continuation of Fisher’s work: “This is your Brain on a Break-up.” Where I learned it’s easier to stop being angry than it is to stop being in love. Worth the 25 minute listen.

Without further ado, I give you the mixtape, from my heart to yours. You can also listen here on Spotify.  If I’ve missed any slam dunk sure fire cure all songs, tell me in the comments and I’ll add it to the list!

PS: take it from the lover herself, Nora Ephron:

and then the dream breaks into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”  

Things end. They do. Now go on and dream another dream.


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